
Linda Babcock
Women negotiate their first post-university salaries less frequently than their male counterparts, leading to a long-term career wage disparity, reported Carnegie-Mellon University’s Linda Babcock.

Hannah Riley Bowles
In addition to this disadvantage of avoiding salary negotiation, women who did negotiate “salary” in a lab study encountered a different problem: They were disliked by men and women participants due to their perceived “demandingness.”
In this study Harvard’s Hannah Riley Bowles and Lei Lai found another challenge for women attempting to achieve both salary parity and colleagial work relationships.
Less assertive women negotiators were equally disliked and they failed to achieve equitable “salaries.“
These findings findings suggest the challenge women face in achieving salary parity and being accepted in work groups.
When male and female volunteers in another lab study asked for salary increases using identical scripts, participants liked men’s style, but disliked the same words from women.
Women negotiators were considered “aggressive,” but they could counteract this perception when they:
- Smiled
- Displayed a friendly manner.
These tactics improved others’ perceptions of women negotiators, but did not improve women’s negotiation outcomes.
In contrast, women negotiators improved both social and negotiation outcomes when they:
- Justified the salary request based on a supporting “business case,”
- Communicated commitment to positive organizational relationships.
Women who smile and focus on the interpersonal relationship fulfill gender role expectations, leading to greater approval by male and female observers.
This suggests that both men and women have implicit biases about “appropriate” behaviours and communications from women in the workplace
Bowles, with Harvard colleague Kathleen McGinn and Babcock, suggested that “situational ambiguity” and “gender triggers” modify women’s willingness to negotiate.
When women have information about the potential salary range and whether the salary is negotiable, they are more likely to negotiate.
Women can improve their negotiation outcomes by asking:
- the salary range,
- which elements of the compensation package are negotiable.
Effective negotiation is a survival skill, according to Dan Pink:
“The ability to move others to exchange what they have for what we have is crucial to our survival and our happiness.”
He noted that effective persuaders and “sellers” collaborate in “inspecting” a negotiation and “responding” to the negotiation through “interpersonal attunement.”
Pink suggested ABC negotiation skills:
– Attunement: Aligning actions and attitudes with others,
– Buoyancy: “Positivity,” optimism, asking questions,
– Clarity: Helping others identify unrecognized needs that can be fulfilled by the negotiation proposal.

Joan Williams
UC Hastings College of the Law’s Joan Williams offered wide-ranging structural strategies to address documented wage discrepancies.
What is the best negotiation pitch you’ve heard for a job-related salary increase or role promotion?
How did the negotiator overcome objections?
How did the negotiator manage the relationship with the negotiating partner?
Related Posts
- Women Don’t Ask for Raises or Promotions as Often as Men
- “Everything is Negotiable”: Prepare, Ask, Revise, Ask Again
- Power Tactics for Better Negotiation
©Kathryn Welds




Ha. I asked for a raise to be brought up to the level of another male team member in the same role as me, with less experience with the team, and with fewer subordinates. I didn’t get it, but I did get an $8K raise. Then the backlash kicked in. I should’ve batted my eyelashes more, and maybe pulled out the crying card.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, as dismaying as it is.
Your example seems to validate Babcock’s research findings, yet we are left with questions about viable – and dignified – alternative strategies to garner even better negotiation results.
The fact that you did get a raise suggests that you applied some negotiation best practices, and have guidance to share with others facing the same challenges in achieving parity.
Thanks again for mentioning your experience.
Thank you, MW, for sharing. Now I do not feel so alone. I, too, have experienced backlash when asking for raises and basically any time I am not “smiley, smiley” and jovial. Sometimes I simply do not feel like smiling. And just because I am not smiling does not mean that I am angry, hostile or any of a multitude of emotions I am accused of being by many men in the workplace. Thankfully, after many, MANY years of beating my skull against a brick wall, I now understand how I need to present myself so that most men do not feel … well, whatever it is negative that many men in the workplace seem to feel towards me. It has required me to feign acquiescence and deference when I am sometimes boiling angry or simply gobsmacked by stupidity. But at the end of the day it keeps the paycheck coming and most of the time I can avoid conflicts. In the end, I think that the only way a woman can really just simply be herself in the workplace without being unjustly labeled is to run her own company. And just for the record – no, I do not believe that ALL men are alike. It is just that I have encountered a majority of men in positions of authority that do fit this profile that I have learned to be extremely leery in the workplace. In some ways I feel that I was raised within a lie. That being that women can be and/or do anything they want. The part that is a lie is the expectation that most men – and even some women – will admire, respect and like a woman who achieves. I have found respect. Grudging respect and even some admiration at that, by some. But mostly forget the “like” part.
Thanks for mentioning your experience, with seems to reflect the research findings on backlash and harsh judgments of women at work – especially women not judged as “nice” or “happy.”
As you point out, it can help to focus on “the bigger picture,” like financial self-sufficiency, and consider that achieving respect in the workplace might be as satisfying — and perhaps as effective — as being “liked.” You also point to an effective exit strategy: entrepreneurship, for those with the confidence and financial “staying power.” Thanks for your wide-ranging comment, covering the experiences of so many in the workplace.
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