Some women experience anxiety when required to showcase their accomplishments and skills.
They also understand that self-promotion, personal marketing, and “selling yourself” can be required to be achieve recognition and rewards at work, particularly in the U.S..
Gender norms about “modesty” can contribute to women’s discomfort in highlighting their accomplishments.
These implicit rules advocate that women:
- hold a moderate opinion of their skills,
- appear humble and avoid pretentiousness,
- disclaim personal responsibility for success,
- accept personal responsibility for failure.
In contrast, many American men proactively showcase their skills, and observers see self-promoting men as “competent,” “capable,” and “confident.”
Men who do not advertise their successes generally experience “backlash” like women who self-promote, according to Skidmore’s Corinne Moss-Racusin, Julie Phelan of Langer Research Associates, and Rutgers’ Laurie Rudman.
They concluded that anyone who behaves contrary to expected gender stereotypes may be less favorably evaluated and advance more slowly in careers.

Marie‐Hélène Budworth
Women from cultures that value cooperation, collaboration, and collective accomplishment face limited career advancement if they conform to these norms in self-promoting work cultures, found York University‘s Marie‐Hélène Budworth and Sara L. Mann of University of Guelph.
Likewise, women who adhere to implicit “female modesty” expectations are less likely to ask for promotions and salary increases.
This reluctance contributed to women’s long-term pay disparity according to University of Pennsylvania’s Deborah A. Small, Linda Babcock of Carnegie Mellon University, University of Maryland’s Michele Gelfand and Hilary Gettman.
However, if women violate “modesty norms,” they can experience discrimination in hiring, promotion, and wages, reported Rutgers’ Rudman and Peter Glick of Lawrence University.
Likewise, Yale’s Victoria Brescoll noted that these “norm violators” can experience other adverse interpersonal consequences.
People who violate norms typically experience physical arousal including discomfort, anxiety, fear, nervousness, perspiration, increased heart rate, reported University of Waterloo’s Mark Zanna and Joel Cooper of Princeton.
However, if participants attribute this physical activation to “excitement” rather than norm violation, they were more likely to:
- Engage in self-promotion,
- Express interest in self-promotion,
- More effectively describe their accomplishments.
Despite women’s and some men’s career “double bind,” people can consciously communicate more effectively about their successes, demonstrated in studies by Montana State University’s Jessi L. Smith and Meghan Huntoon.
More than 75 women wrote sample essays for a merit-based scholarship valued up to USD $5,000.
One group was composed essays about their own accomplishments whereas another group wrote about another person’s accomplishments.
They also completed Achievement Goal Questionnaire – Revised by University of Rochester Andrew Elliot and Kou Murayama of Tokyo Institute of Technology to evaluate “performance approach” and “performance avoidance.”
The laboratory contained a black box described as a “subliminal noise generator.”
Half the volunteers were told the box produced “inaudible but potentially uncomfortable ultra-high frequency noise,” and they were later asked to evaluate “the effects of extraneous distractions on task performance.”
The remaining participants received no information about the black box.
Women who could attribute their experience to the “noise generator” produced higher-quality, more convincing descriptions of their achievements, measured by being awarded significantly higher scholarships prizes.
These women also said they were more interested in the task, which is typically associated with greater intrinsic motivation to showcase personal accomplishments.
In contrast, women who violated the “modesty” norm without reference to the “noise generator” said they:
- Reported less interest in describing their achievements,
- Negatively evaluated their performance,
- Produced lower-quality essays,
- Reported fear of failure.
Women perceived as displaying their accomplishments in essays were negatively evaluated by judges, who awarded significantly less to people wrote about their own accomplishments rather than about someone else’s.
One “workaround” for this self-promotion trap is to reciprocally advocate for colleagues.
This strategy highlights colleagues’ accomplishments as organizational policies evolve to encourage everyone’s self-promotion.
An example is Google’s self-nomination process for advancement and promotion, coupled with reminder emails to submit self-nominations.
When people redefine showcasing their professional accomplishments as “part of the job,” they tend to perform more effectively and experience less cognitive dissonance.
- How do you manage the norm against women “bragging” and showcasing their accomplishments?
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©Kathryn Welds
Selena Flood wrote:
It’s a funny thing, even when your experience, background, and credentials stand on their own merit, many people have an issue with “certain” females mentioning their accomplishments in a non-egotistical way. In most instances, it creates a hostile backlash from co-workers and is deemed as threatening to insecure, “old school”, unexposed hierarchy. Be very careful who you extol your virtues to because what is good for the goose and certain ganders usually doesn’t work well for minority females in traditionally male-dominated roles or workplaces.
Kathryn Welds replied
Thanks so much, Selena, for real-world validation of lab research.
Your experience reinforce the importance of carefully managing self-promotion to minimize the risk of backlash.
JJ DiGeronimo wrote:
A recent fast company article states, “professional success for women is dependent on “documentable and measureable competence” or basically, a proven track record.” (From The Surprising Ways That Networking Fails Women By Vivian Giang) – with this said, women have to share (at some level) their desires and their milestone which could be seen as a violation yet is equality the goal?
Kathryn this is an amazing article! Thank you for putting this together.
@kathrynwelds @jjdigeronimo @techsavvywomen
Kathryn Welds replied:
Thanks, JJ, for your reference to Lily Fang and Sterling Fang’s research a on the relative importance of social contacts vs accomplishments and skills for men and women. http://www.insead.edu/facultyresearch/research/doc.cfm?did=48816
As you note, they found that men benefit from connections than women both in terms of job performance and in terms of subjective evaluation by others even though women and men had similar number of connections in their networks and equal educations and job skills.
Thought women can benefit from developing skills to increase their visibility and to capitalize on their education, interpersonal connections, and education, the Silicon Valley Business Journal recently opined that “For women engineers, it’s about fixing the workplace, not self-confidence.”
http://www.bizjournals.com/sanjose/news/2015/03/26/for-women-engineers-it-s-about-fixing-the.html?page=all
JJ DiGeronimo continued:
No doubt, many workplaces are in need of more diverse teams and will eventually realize that the organizations that make inclusive cultures a priority through direct actions will benefit from their acute focus.
My recent post that share a perspective: Are You Overlooking These Women Leaders in Your Organization?
http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/you-overlooking-women-leaders-your-organization-jj-digeronimo?trk=mp-author-card
Thanks for the great conversation!
Kathryn Welds replied:
Thanks so much, JJ, for sharing these helpful resources in your blog post:
Professional Women Blogs: http://www.purposefulwoman.com/blog
Videos for Working Women: http://www.techsavvywomen.tv